Thursday, January 24, 2008

the view from here

I'll admit there are much prettier pictures that I could have posted from here in Colorado but this is from Jon and Nic's upper deck. I think if you have to live in the Denver area, the Golden foothills are not a bad place to be.

I've lived through four of the six days that I get all by myself up here. What a luxury. I don't remember ever having six days all by myself, anywhere. Well, I'm not entirely alone. I'm dog sitting for my daughter and her husband while they travel to Jon's grandmother's funeral in Louisiana so my biggest responsibility is pottying dogs and making sure they don't tear up the house or run away. They are such pains but I find myself talking to them and liking them a bit better than ever before. That's what happens when you have no one else to talk to, I guess. I've been allowing them to sleep in the same room I'm in at night just so I know where they are and I'll admit, to feel a little more secure in a strange place. Woke up this morning with some of my clothes scattered about the room and Mocha sleeping in my suitcase and Brewster wearing my black bra. Well, not wearing it exactly but all tangled up in it. Funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Guess I didn't think to take a picture because I was still half asleep and laughing hysterically. Outloud. All by myself here, laughing hysterically outloud. That in itself is funny. Actually, I can't seem to stop laughing outloud about it which feels kinda weird when you are completely alone. Maybe six days of being by myself is too much. I may have gone over the edge.

My biggest daily dilemma has been what I'm going to do with this totally blank canvas of a day which is also very strange for me because most days have something required of me. I've been blessed this week. Kinda bumped around the first couple days without any real sense of purpose but I've had some things sort of solidify in my thinking and understanding as I've prayed and reflected this week.

One thing I thought I'd be doing is spending some time in a couple of heavy-duty drawing books that I brought with me. I tried one morning and came to the realization that I really don't want to do heavy-duty drawing coursework at the moment. That was liberating. I've been feeling guilty that I haven't been doing that (because I have these great books) and now I know that it's ok.

I've discovered that I really just want to doodle and jot down thoughts and prayers on a blank piece of cheap copy paper. That is satisfying somehow. What is not satisfying is a lovely, empty journal filled with multiple blank, white sheets of quality drawing/watercolor paper sitting on the table waiting for me to create equally lovely journal entries. Intimidating and paralyzing, not liberating. And I'm way into freedom and liberation at the moment.

More later...right now I'm off to either the books stores, the galleries, the Denver Art Museum or Jerry's Artarama. So many choices, so little time left. So very, very blessed. Thank you, Lord!


Paula Scott said...

I never in a million years would've thought that your driving up to Denver alone to spend a week there to dog sit would be a gift for you! Never! Sure fooled me, huh? Gifts do come in surprising packages and in surprising ways, that much I know... I loved what you had to say and your ability to put it to words. Thanks for sharing you.

Raine K said...

OMG! I'm laughing out loud reading your post - and reading it aloud to Chris at the same time (it's very hard to laugh hysterically and try to read aloud at the same time)
I hope you can make the trade next Saturday - I need one of your pirate cards.